4 months have flown by

It has been about 4 months since I finished all my treatments (chemo & radiation) for Lymphoma. I had a great check-up in June with no cancer recurrence. I have my 2nd check-up in Sept which I hope will go well. I returned to work in May full-time and have jumped back into the activities of life with both my feet. I have gradually regained more strength and endurance with each passing week and am now exercising regularly and feeling stronger. It is amazing how your body is broken down as a result of the treatments, but how within a few short weeks you can start to feel good again. I mention often to my family and friends how it just feels good to "feel good" again! It is a pretty simple statement, but really sums up what it is like. I am excited to just be able to not feel tired all the time....which when I was going through chemo, it was a constant effort to do the smallest things.

I praise God that I have come through this. I know the first year is critical in my recovery in that if it comes back it is more likely within the first year after treatment. I am trying not to think about that possibility, but instead live without fear of that and trying to trust in God's plan for my life regardless of the bumps in the road.

I will post more news of my next check-up in Sept.

It is over!

I am FINALLY done with my radiation! I am still in a bit of a shock that all my treatments are over. I have been taking a treatment of some sort now since November 14th, 2007. 4 months of chemo and 41/2 weeks of radiation. I am still pretty sore around my neck and chest, but that should start to get better in a week or so. I will go back to the Dr. for a check-up in June.

I know that this chapter in my life is over and am looking forward to the next. I have so many people to thank for supporting me the last many months that it will be impossible to say thanks to everyone individually here. I have so many family, friends and co-workers that have supported, encouraged and prayed for me during this time. I know that I am a different person as a result and will hope to see life through the lens of this experience and be better for is. I also hope that my experience has also helped others who have had to deal with cancer. I have learned much about cancer and how people deal with it.

I am not sure how to end this blog..... It has helped me in the healing process and want to see how I can continue to use it in someway maybe to help others. ...I'll think about it. Let me know if you have any other ideas.

One more week to go.

This is the radiation room at MD Anderson. I lie on a table with my shirt off and my face in a stabilization mask while the radiation machine zaps my chest and neck. This only takes about 20 minutes total. Most of that time is getting my body in the exact position so the radiation beams can zap the right tissue.

I have most of my treatments in the mornings Tuesday through Fridays. On Mondays, I have the treatment in the afternoon, as I drive from Fort Worth on Monday mornings. The radiation areas on my body are getting very red and itchy at this point. During the second week my throat became sore which made it difficult to swallow. I have been given some medication to relieve some of the pain and swollen areas of my throat. I had a doctor's appt on Thursday where she said after the radiation, I will need to have check-ups every 3 months. They watch for recurrence in the first two years. If I get beyond 3 years with no recurrence, then there is a very high chance of it never returning.

The weeks have gone by pretty fast. I have had a great opportunity to connect with some of my long-time friends in Houston. I am also able to work some at the SAP Houston offices.

First 7 radiation treatments

My radiation treatments are now in full-swing here in Houston. I drive down to Houston on Mondays and return on Fridays. Each treatment involves my lying down on a table and positioning me in a very precise way to make the radiation beams target exactly the same place everytime. They have made a mold of my face which is strapped to my head each time to keep me from moving....which really works! When this is done, it leaves a mesh pattern on my face which looks like I have been hit with a tennis racket! These treatments will last several more weeks and are a piece of cake compared with chemo. The only side effects are some fatigue, sore throat, and red chest and neck.

During the time I wait for my turn in the waiting room, I see patients who are going through this at the same time as chemo. They remind me so much of how I use to feel and I try and tell them it will get better, but from their standpoint, it does not help much. All they want is to feel better...now. I can't imaging doing radiation and chemo at the same time as they are doing. Also, I am only doing 22 treatments, and many of them are doing 35. I am thankful that I only have 22 total treatments and that I am done with chemo already.

Radiation treatments begin this week...

I will start taking my radiation treatments on Thursday this week in Houston. My oncologist strongly suggested I take my radiation at MD Anderson due to the location of my Lymphoma. It is very close to my heart and lungs and they need to make sure to avoid those vital organs and they feel better about doing this treatment at MD Anderson. Also, the radiation will enhance my remission rate.

So...I will have a total of 22 treatments starting on Thursday, March 27th and ending on Friday, April 25th. I will be staying in Houston during the week and traveling home to Fort Worth on the weekends. I know Houston very well, so I am not stressing over it. I will however, miss 2 of Daniel's golf tournaments, but he tells me he will not make any hole-in-ones without me there to witness!

Easter celebrates new life...

Today I recognize and celebrate how Christ was raised from death. It is an appropriate time to look to the future and hope for new life which God can give.

This reminds me of how all cancer patients feel when they are finished with chemo. They feel they have been raised from the dead! They have new energy. They have new purpose. They have that look in their eyes which says, "I'm back".

I pray that everyone has a sense of that feeling this Easter day. Even if you have not gone through chemo, we all have issues and can experience hope for the future. I have hope for the future that I did not once have. I pray for healing in everyone this Easter.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.—Saved by his life.

“For God has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction.”

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.

Now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.—But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me.

Therefore let those who suffer according to God's will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.

1 Pet. 1:3; Gen. 41:52; 2 Cor. 1:3-5; 1 Pet. 1:6, 7; 2 Tim. 4:17; 1 Pet. 4:19

New Study on NHL...

This is a picture of a Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma cell (pink) being attacked by the chemo drug "Rituxan". I took this chemo drug 6 times over 4 months and was a big reason for my remission. The picture was taken from a recent article in Scientific American which discusses the recent study confirming the increase in patients living longer using these drugs. This drug is made by Genentech and has been used since 1997. I am hopeful that I will be one of the "long lifers". It also mentions that 20 in 100,000 will get NHL. That is incredible odds against most people getting NHL. I think it is 1 in 5,000 or 2 in 10,000 or 8 in 40, 000. How many of you have been to a Ranger's baseball game? That means that 8 people in the entirely full stadium would get NHL. That seems like pretty good odds for most people. So, the next time you are at the Ballpark...look around and see if you can find the 8 people. And, for people under age 45 who are using Rituxan, 56% of the 8 will live 10 years or longer.

Counts back up...in the snow!

My latest lab test showed improvement in my blood counts! One of the things I have been doing all along is keeping a pretty detailed record of my counts over the weeks. Here is a snapshot of the past 3 weeks and how it has moved up and down through chemo and recovery. The numbers at the top are what "normal" ranges should be in a person my age.

(The PLT count is actually pretty low; it should be over 100. Some of you remember when I had a blood transfusion, the PLT count was at 3).

I am now on the "upper end" of normal lows, which is pretty good. That means that for a chemo patient, they are pretty normal, but for a non-chemo patient, they would be pretty low. I feel much better today and am still a bit tired, but feel more energy today than in the past 2 weeks. I should start improving with each day as my body continues to replace much of the cell loss over the past 4 months. I have another test on Tuesday and Friday of next week.

I have several tests and dr. appts in Houston the week of March 18th at MD Anderson. These tests will indicate the current stage and ultimate results of the 4 months of chemo. Each of the last 3 tests have all showed no cancer growth and reduced tumor size in my medial stinal (chest) area, so I am looking forward to the same progression results. The tests in 2 weeks will also give a base-line for the radiation oncologists to recommend radiation in the next phase. As indicated by my oncologist, he recommends 4 weeks of radiation once chemo is completed. I should be able to start the radiation treatments the last week of March here in Fort Worth.

I am looking forward to the radiation treatments as the final stage of this incredible process. I have heard that radiation is not as intense as chemo, so I am hoping to be able to return to more normal activities during this treatment. ...can I remember what "normal" activities means?

It snowed here in Fort Worth on Monday and Thursday of this week. It has been so warm and sunny in the 60s and 70s for many days prior to this week. We all were getting use to the warmth and expecting Spring to be here for good. However, life can be unexpected at times! We enjoyed one more week of winter in Cowtown.... we will be longing for these days in August.

Low counts today...

I am entering my low blood count stage of chemo today through Friday and so I will be watching things pretty closely. My WBC and Platletes are all very low today. The issue (as always) is fighting simple infections with such a low WBC and also the threat of excess bleeding with a low Platelete count. I will stay away from un-cooked foods for several days and also keep my "contact sports" to a minimum to avoid possible bruising.

My RBC and HGB are low, but not too low like in past rounds. The RBC is where my energy comes from and it has been decent so far relative to past rounds. I still don't feel great, but am pushing to the finish line as much as I can because I can't stand this any more! Feeling tired and sick for 4 months kinda gets old. I know that my low counts today through the week will get better, so that keeps me staying positive.

Last Day of 6th Cycle

I am about finished with my 48 hour chemo session on my last scheduled 6th round of chemo. I can hardly believe the chemo is almost over. It has been so long in coming and I have anticipated this day for many weeks. Although I feel really bad today (exhausted), I am looking forward to leaving this chapter of my life and can only hope it will be many more years before I have to endure this again. I will post again when feeling better. I appreciate all the calls and emails concerning my status. I am looking forward to better days ahead!

Wed

I have had increasing energy levels each day this week. I can really tell that this chemo round was less intense to my body from the last protocol. I still have a few more days before my counts could drop (Thur - Sat), so we will see. As of Tuesday, my counts were all pretty good....not normal, but for chemo, normal. I had a somewhat low WBC (4.2), but the HGB was 11.9, which is really good compared to last time at 7.7. Also, my RBC count is at 3.77, which is good...again considering my last round it hit 2.44.

I am eating well and trying to do some exercises in walking. It is important to stay active during times when I have energy. During chemo days, all I want to do is sleep and rest.


I am staying focused on the last few tasks for my completion of the chemo rounds. I am scheduled to start my last round on Tuesday, Feb 26, with the full treatment lasting till Thursday. Again, I will be able to take this out-patient. In mid March, I will return to MD Anderson for a re-staging test, then see a radiologist for setting up the radiation rounds. Radiation should last 4 weeks. I don't know yet what the effects of this will be, but hopefully it will be less intense as chemo.

Saturday: Better day

I feel much better today than the last 4 days of chemo. I have not felt like doing anything but sleep and rest. As you know, I was able to take my chemo at the chemo Center on Tuesday, then take a 48 hour chemo pump home. This was a great alternative to me having to take chemo in the hospital. This process however did not remove the tiring effects of the chemo as I was still really drained Tue - Fri. However, I awoke this morning feeling much better, even as our weather here in Fort Worth is cold with lots of rain. I have more energy and was able to get out of bed and think much clearer than the past several days.

It is amazing how much the chemo can drain you of energy. I have been told that with each new round of chemo, you body will feel more tired because of the months of chemo build-up in your body. I can tell, but am still hopeful that I will grow more energy as the days pass. The next remaining hurdle will be how low my blood counts will go. On Friday, they all were in very good ranges. All normal ranges with a few exceptions. So, we will see how Days 10-12 look (Thur, Feb 28 – Sat, Mar 1). That is when my counts typically drop to their lows.

Sandra's marathon training is going well. She has also reached her fund raising goals already which she is so excited about. We are in the process of making the travel plans now to Vancouver for the weekend of May 4th. Sandra's remaining 2 months of training are getting more intense, but she has renewed focus and determination and seems to be getting stronger with each week. Thanks for all your support, encouragement and prayers for both Sandra and I as we meet our challenges in the coming months!

First day of R-CHOP

I just returned from a day of receiving my R-CHOP chemo treatment. It is great to be home. All my other chemo treatments required my being in the hospital for 4-6 days. I am so thankful that I can now be home and still take my chemo. Once the day was complete, I still had to take home a portable chemo pump which will allow me to receive a very slow chemo drug over a 48 hour period. I will return on Thursday at 4:30pm to return the pump. The pump is a quiet, small device which lives in a medium sized "fanny-pack". It connects directly to my PIC line. It is a pretty easy device and I just need to remember that it goes "everywhere" I go. (it kinda looks like a PSP...I'm trying to get some games on the thing)

My Dad had one of these devices when he was going through chemo last year. I remember he would come over for dinner and have that thing in tow. He called it his "bag". He did not have to do this every week, only on special occasions when he needed some extra drug. I have to say that I did not know much about all the different drugs he was taking. He really did not keep up with them much either. I have been very different however. I know every single drug I am taking including the pre-meds. I have actually caught my chemo nurses doing things differently than what my doctor originally ordered. I think the nurses at my chemo center are very competent, but sometimes things can get messed up and it is important for patients to take ownership in their treatment and be aware of everything that is being done to them. I have tried my best to practice this.

OK, here is what it really looks like....

Take care and I will talk to you soon again!

New chemo plan... 2 more to go.

I have not posted in over a week and need to give you an update on what has been going on. Last week I went to Houston to see my primary Oncologist (Dr. Hagemeister) for restaging tests (x-ray and CT Scan) to see the progress of my treatments and the status of the cancer. All checked out well as the tumor is continuing to be non-active and shrinking due to the chemo. However, due to the intensity of my chemo plan, they are concerned with my blood levels as they have not been rebounding as well as expected, therefore, he has rewritten my chemo plan to a less intense program (same drugs, less dosage). I can also take this chemo out-patient, which is great news to me (no more Harris Methodist medieval castle dungeon). The plan is called R-CHOP and is a more well known chemo plan for Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma patients. It can be given in 1 day...long, long day. I will also have a chemo that I will need to take home for 48 hours. I will take this R-CHOP this week, then again in 2 weeks and that will be it for my chemo. I will also then have to take 4 weeks of radiation. This will be radiation every day (Monday - Friday) for 4 weeks. I was not expecting this, but the Dr. says it is very important and is necessary to keep the cancer from returning. This puts me through the middle of April for the final radiation treatment.

I am soooo ready for these treatments to be completed. I was just thinking over the past several weeks all the activities that I cannot do now, that I am looking forward to doing again...Here are just a few....

• Throw a baseball with my son. (my Pic line makes this hard to do)
• Play golf. (I have not played in 6 months).
• Swim (although it has been too cold).
• Take a shower without wrapping my PIC line.
• Jogging.
• Standing in line at the airport (traveling again for my job).
• Washing my hair.....actually having hair.
• Eating fresh fruit and veggies without worrying if I will get sick.
• Not taking 10-12 pills a day.
• Going to church every Sunday....(only once a month during chemo).
• Going places without a box of Kleenex (my nose runs constantly due to the chemo).
  

Well...there are many more on my list, but I will stop here. I will say that I am fortunate to almost be done with chemo as I have corresponded with several people who's chemo treatments are much longer and more intense. I continue to pray for them for courage and staying positive. I know that it takes a lot of both to get through this. I have also learned to only focus on each day alone. When I think about all the weeks left, I get discouraged. When I just think of today and what I have to do to get through today, I can handle that. I think others have said the same. Marsha and Cindi...hang in there.

More blood

I had been unable to fully recover this past week from my chemo without an additional 2 units of blood. I have been told that as chemo treatments continue, your body will take longer to recover. I have seen that happen this week. My HGB and RBC counts stayed really low all week and it was only after 4 units of blood and a unit of platelets, did I finally feel better today.

So, a recap....we had a bit of a scare yesterday as I had trouble getting my breath. With HGB at 7.7 and RBC at 2.45, very little oxygen was able to fuel my body when doing any kind of walking or moving around. I got very winded on Friday afternoon and was unable to really recover. We decided to go to the emergency room at Plaza Medical center which was near the building I was planning on getting my 2 additional units of blood. After I was given some oxygen, I was evaluated as stabilized and no apparent heart issues were present. They wanted to watch me over night and also give me the 2 units of blood through the evening.

I awoke this morning feeling much better and was able to go home this morning. My counts are back up to acceptable levels (HGB 9.0 and RBC 3.0) and I feel a ton better as a result.

We will still keep my meetings at MD Anderson next week so we can get my restaging accomplished as planned. Therefore, we will be in Houston, Tuesday - Thursday for these meetings.

Counts still low...

It has been several days since my last post. I have been feeling pretty good this week (so I thought) and felt like the 2 units of blood I received on Sat were going to get me back to acceptable levels. Today, I had a blood test and they were still very low. In fact, they are lower than they have ever been. I think I need a refund on the blood from Sat. My doctor sent me back to the blood bank for a unit of platelets as my HGB count was 3..... it should be between 200 and 400. Also, I am quarantined for several days as my WBC is at 0.2, which is pretty low. I am thinking that I am going to feel better tomorrow as I have no where to go but "up". :-)

We have lots going on these days at home as Daniel is preparing for a school play where he is a munchkin (Wizard of Oz). They have been working on this since Sept and will be fun to see all the pieces all come together. He will have 3 performances and I hope to make the one on Saturday. Sandra's training for the marathon is getting more intense every week and she is doing a great job. Walking every day several miles and 8-10 on Saturday. It is encouraging to me to see her commitment and dedication to something like this. She is not a big athlete, so this is a big challenge.

That’s all for now. I'll post again when my counts are up...hopefully this weekend. Thanks for all the prayers and encouragement so far. I can see the ending in sight and just have a month to go till I can finish chemo.

Sunday

This past week has been a pretty good week regarding my recovery period from cycle 4 chemo. My blood counts typically bottom out Thur - Sat and that is what happend this week as well. Friday, my doctor recommended another 2 units of blood. So, Saturday, I went to Plaza and got 2 units. That process went very smooth and I can already feel better as a result. The main reason I needed blood was my HGB was 7.7 and the RBC was 2.44. The Red Blood Cells are what take oxygen from the lungs to the rest of the body. When you are low on RBCs, just simply walking across the room makes you winded. I had a hard time just walking around the house most of the week and Friday and Saturday was the worst. I still feel pretty tired and run down, but I know that I will get stronger as this week progresses. So far, I have not had any fever, so no infections at this point. The white blood cells is the other big issue. WBCs fight infection and a normal person has between 8 and 12....Mine was 1.0 on Friday. I take a drug everyday to help my body produce more WBCs and I know they will go back up rapidly on Monday and Tuesday.

Today the weather has been so nice. The temp reached the upper 60's with plenty of sunshine. I know much of the country is fighting the cold and snow, and it is nice to have weather like this for a few days in Fort Worth.

Sandra's Marathon training update

Sandra has been training for her Marathon now for the past month and has made great progress. This weekend she does an 8 mile walk! She is doing a great job! Please pray for her as the next month will be very challenging on her physically in building up the miles.

Her fundraising is also going well. She is at 70% of her goal and I know she will reach 100% soon! Recently, there have been numerous contributions from my "extended" family at SAP America (my current employer http://www.sap.com). Mary Sibley has communicated to many people at SAP about Sandra's Marathon challenge and they have responded in stellar fashion! SAP also has a matching program so those contributions will have a doubling effect! Thank you SAP and Mary for all the support during this time.

I know many of our friends and family have also contributed and we are grateful to all of you as well. It is a financially difficult time of the year for many people and your contributions are very much appreciated. Sandra and I are so excited about raising money and awareness about Leukemia and Lymphoma and the money donated to this organization goes a long way in supporting that mission.

Her website is located here: http://www.active.com/donate/tntntx/sandratanner

Home a day early...

I finished cycle 4 on Sunday afternoon and after my Methotrexate levels were confirmed, I was able to go home around 3pm. This was a great blessing as it is always better to be home than in the hospital!!! I am now just trying to get over dizziness and I also have some pain in my arms which I have never experienced before. I am not sure what is causing it, but will ask the doctor today about what might be causing it.

I also now begin the downward slide down to low WBC/RBC counts. I should bottom out around Friday and will hopefully not need any blood.

In the middle of cycle 4 at Harris

I should be finished with this round on Sunday, but will most likely not go home until Monday or Tuesday. I am feeling very good at this point with little or no side effects. I seem to have much more energy than last round and am hoping my counts will not drop as far during next week.

I can really see the light at the end of the tunnel these days and am focused on getting through the next several weeks. I will be going to Houston in 2 weeks for more restaging tests which should give us another indication of the progress of the chemo.

Starting cycle 4

Today starts the beginning of my cycle 4 chemo treatements. I take one chemo drug (Rituximab) today in as an out-patient, then check in tomorrow to the hospital for the rest of my chemo. I should be in the hospital through next Tuesday. This round will also take my blood counts down at the end of next week.

I am feeling very good these days and am hopeful my round of chemo will go smoothly.

I'll give everyone an update at the end of the week.

Counts back to normal...

I am happy to report that after my tests on Wed, my blood counts are back in the normal range. I am feeling much better. I really know that getting the 2 units of blood really helped me a great deal.

I have been asked several times about how people can possibly donate blood on my behalf. Apparently, you can donate blood and designate it for my use. Even if you are not the same type, it can be banked in my account and used if necessary.

Based on my current chemo schedule, it is very possible I will need at least another 6 units over the next 6 weeks (2 units the week after my chemo cycle). If this is something you feel strongly about, then it would be a great gift. I know many people cannot donate blood for various reasons and I personally have not given in many years.

All of you have already done so much for me and my family so far, so I am reluctant to post this, but everyone has been encouraging me to share my needs, so this is what I have done.

Again, thanks for all your support and prayers. I only have 3 more treatments so far, and am hopeful that I will make it out with no issues.

My current chemo (all at Harris Methodist Fort Worth) schedule is as follows:

Cycle 4 - Jan 16 - 22
Cycle 5 - Feb 6 - 12
Cycle 6 - Feb 27 - Mar4

2 pints please...

After feeling great on Friday morning, I went downhill in the afternoon. I typically get lab work done on Friday afternoons and this Friday was no different. The results showed my Red cells very low. This is why I have been so short of breath. Your RBCs carry oxygen to your body so you can function. When you have few RBCs, you body struggles to keep the oxygen supply up to stuff. Well, it got the best of me and while I was in the clinic, I had a fainting spell and almost passed out.

As a result, they decided I needed 2 units of blood to boost my system. I went into the Plaza center on Saturday morning and got 2 units of O negative blood. It is amazing to me how this can work. Several hours later, I was feeling much better.

Today, I have way more energy and can tell a big difference. There is power in the blood!

I am hopeful that this week my counts will rebound quickly and I can get back to some normal activity. I am still in an "at risk" stage for infection, but that should subside as my counts rebound.

Thanks for all the prayers and encouragement this past week.

Feeling great today...

It's amazing what a few days makes. I feel great today. After earlier in the week being so rough, I have rebounded significantly today. I have been able to do quite a bit today around the house and some at work.

I will be entering the low cell count period (Friday - Monday) today through the weekend, so I will be vullnerable to infection as always, but am hopeful I can make it through without any hospital visits.

Just as a review. I am half-way finished with my chemo treatements. I started on Nov 14th (cycle 1) and I just finished on Jan 1st (cycle 3). I have 3 more cycles to go which come at 3 week (21 day) intervals. This will put me finished with chemo somewhere at the beginning of March. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Cycle 3 - home at last...

It has been several days since my last post and I know many of you have wanted an update as to my status. My last update was so positive based on my good news of the good test results. I felt so good the first part of my treatment last week based on that news. However, the chemo finally took it's toll on me over the weekend and through yesterday (Jan 2nd). I have had some of the roughest days so far. All my energy has been zapped from my body and also have had much nausea. The Zophran has been working pretty well, but it is still not 100% effective.

I am finally back home now and will hopefully start to feel better, but right now I am staying pretty low. more later...